Cookbook Mk. II

SALSA

History:-
Er, this was for May 08's challengers with the 'non-cooking' cooking competition. Basically you can't use fire to cook your food. It's sposed to be reddy, so you'll be fine, it's not your blood.

What you need:-
� 1 big mixing bowl
� 1 big mixing spoon
� Juice from 1 lemon, or 1 lime, or half of both.
� 1 tablespoon of very expensive balsamic vinegar
� 2 tablespoons of equally, perhaps less expensive extra virgin olive oil
� 8 vine tomatoes (Sainsbury's taste the difference)
� 1 largish red onion (use your initiative, silly people!)
� Quite a lot of coriander
� 8 basil leaves (not 7, not 9! must be 8! coz I said so!)
� One garlic clove (you don't have to if you hate garlic)
� 1 chilli (should be small, red and very very hot)
� Salt, pepper, sugar, and whatever else that floats your boat.
� I think that's it. simple, isn't it??

What to do:-
� Right. dice the tomatoes. (so that they are lil cubes? but not too small)
� Then do the same with the onions, and really really finely cut the garlic clove, and the chilli, if you have it.
� Then mix it all together? and just put everythin else in as well. no specific order, think of it like London without Boris Johnson as the mayor. completely mixed up. so thank goodness he's here to restore order
� Mix, mix, mix, mix, mix, mix, mix, mix, mix, mix, mix, mix, mix.
� Then eat.
� I think I'm forgetting something though? :S ahh well, I'll think of it later...

And there you have it! salsa de la whizz: it's fast and tasty! hehehe




FRIED NOODLES

History:-
This was me and my bro getting bored with normal instant noodles, so we decided to go for the healthy option and fry it. LOL. This one is my recipe. Please enjoy.

What you need:-
� 1 bowl with lid
� 1 saucepan (the one you cook eggs in)
� 2 packs of MAMA oriental style instant noodles pa-lo duck flavour
(This is what I used, but you can just about use any instant noodle pack.)
� Cooking oil
� Sesame oil
� Chopsticks
� 1 large plate
� Boiling water
� Dried oregano
� Dried parsley

What to do:-
� Open the two packs of noodles, and put into the bowl (DON?T PUT THE POWDER IN!!! it defeats the whole point.
� Eat half of one of them (don't worry. it won't kill you: these packs have been pre-fried, but I dunno about the other types.)
� The point is, the noodle needs a ratio of 3:2 with the powder, so that's perfect, and it's nice on its own, anyway.
� Then pour the water in, then close the lid. On top of the lid, put the two packets of oil, to melt it.
� Heat the saucepan: use the really big fire, coz it's cool. Then add the cooking oil (not too much, though), and the two packs of oil as well
� Then drain the water from the bowl, and plonk it all into the saucepan. You should hear a big SHHHHH sound. If you don't, then too bad, you've mucked my recipe up
� While it's cooking, put some sesame oil in it, and the powder from 1 BAG not 2. And the chilli powder too, coz it's not too hot.
� Continue cooking happily for 5-10 minutes, really.
� Add oil if you want, and the two herbs, then it should be ready
� Serve onto the big plate, and eat.

And there you have it. my version of friend noodles.
You can just about do it with any other noodles, just don't eat half of it

let's cook up a lil love...

PAELLA

History:-
HIIIIII!! Yeah, I kinda got this sorted now
er, this was coz I got bored of making sushi for Xmas challengers, so I decided to do a new recipe. (also, someone else was making sushi, coz they figured out how easy it was to make, so they stole my signature dish… thanks!!) anyways, so I got this and I made too much apparently? so BLEH to you lot. I had to finish it all off at home…

Ingredients:- (for two, I think?)
� Basically you need about 500g of meat? I dunno seems a lot, actually. you know what? Screw Gary Rhodes! John’s going solo!! Lol
� BIG saucepan. And BIG wooden spoon, the one you use to hit people with?
� Basically, (again?) you need a cool sausage? I don’t remember the name, but it’s kind of a really hard salami. I’ll find the name later. Just one will do.
� Then any other meat, like chicken, chiken’s nice.
� 3oz of green beans
� 2oz of whatever you can find in the fridge
� 1 big tomato, all chopped up
� 1 teaspoon of paprika
� 2-3 table spoons of not so expensive olive oil
� A tiny tiny lil bit of saffron? seriously... tiny tiny bit? very expensive
� Salt, pepper, the works.
� 1 twig of rosemary
� 375g of short grain rice. Risotto rice will do just fine.
� And 1 and a half pints of water. Normal, cold, natural water.

What to do:-
� Cook the meat first, in the saucepan, to lock in the juices, and just cook it properly, otherwise you’ll have people with food poisoning, and we don’t want that, do we??
� Add the tomatoes, nicely chopped. And the beans as well, also nicely chopped.
� Then put the paprika and saffron and salt and pepper and mix.
� Add the rice, and the water as well, then cook on the highest possible flame (not coz I’m a pyromaniac) for 10 minutes. Then reduce the heat and cook for another 10 mins with the lid on.
� Add the rosemary and you can serve it from the saucepan, or put it in a nice looking bowl.

And there you have it! Paella!

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OMELETTE

History:-
Woooo! as you probably know, if you ask anyone on the planet “can you cook?” they’ll probs say “yeah, kinda. I can make omelettes?” BUT! Can they make it well? This is my recipe. I make it up and feed it to random people.

Ingredients:-
� Bowl to mix the stuff in (not too big)
� 3 eggs. Should be from a chicken, so you should check. Free range is good for you. Well, not really, but it sure tastes better
� A splash of milk.
� Mozzarella cheese. Or cheddar if you?re feeling British. Well, any cheese, but I like mozzarella, so ner.
� Some meat, unless you’re a veggie of course. PANCETTA :D :S
� Salt, pepper, and the works! whatever the works actually is
� MOST VITAL INGREDIENT (after egg) Tabasco sauce la! to spice up your life
� HERBS!!! Mustn’t forget herbs. I cheat, and use dried Italian seasoning, so I don’t have to choose the herbs LOL. Er, coriander, basil, oregano, parsley. I think that’s about it for the lil herbs
� Big saucepan (the one you use to cook eggs, maybe…)
� Cooking oil
� And plate.

What to do:-
� Break the eggs into the bowl, and then… shove EVERYTHING else into it! no order. Well, everything doesn’t include the big saucepan or the plate, for all you witty people out there.
� Mix very well.
� Heat the saucepan at the same time! Sorry, forgot to mention that…
� Put the oil in.
� And then put the egg mixture in and then watch everything cook nicely!
� There’s a technique to this, but I seriously cba to explain. Well, I cba and everyone likes their omelettes differently, so you cook it however you want. It includes flipping at some point, so be careful…
� Put it onto the plate.

And there you have it! whatever it was… oh, omelette
You might not like it, depends on your taste, really.